Estimated reading time: 15 minutes
Conversation skills are the abilities a student uses to start, keep up and end a conversation: greeting and opening a topic, taking turns as speaker and listener, staying on topic, asking questions, fixing misunderstandings and closing politely. They are the most visible part of pragmatic language, the social use of language. This guide covers the component skills, how pragmatic language relates, what to expect by age, how to teach conversation skills to K-12 students, activities by grade band, an observation checklist, IEP goal examples and measurement. It describes school practice; the speech-language pathologist (SLP) and the IEP team individualize each plan.
Table of contents
Executive Summary
Conversation difficulties cut across disability categories. In 2024-25, speech or language impairment was the category for 18% of the 8.2 million students ages 3 to 21 served under IDEA, and autism for 15% (OSEP). ASHA cites preliminary estimates from one U.S. study of 393 eighth graders: social communication disorder ranged from 7% to 11%, depending on the definition used (Ellis Weismer et al., 2021).
Conversation can be taught at school. In a study of 73 autistic middle school students, a social skills curriculum taught daily by classroom teachers and aides for 14 weeks improved teacher-reported social responsiveness and social communication, compared with an alternative curriculum (Laugeson et al., 2014). The hard part is practice: a skill learned in a lesson becomes usable only after many real exchanges with different partners.
Key Takeaways
- Six component skills: initiating, turn taking, topic maintenance, asking questions, repair and ending.
- Pragmatic language is broader: conversation rules sit beside using language for different purposes and adjusting it to the listener.
- Norms vary by culture: ASHA states that differences in social communication norms are not disorders.
- Teach explicitly, then practice with peers: instruction, a live or video model, role-play with feedback, then real settings.
- Fade scripts and prompts so the student converses rather than recites.
- Measure in real conversations with several partners, not only in the speech room.
What Are Conversation Skills?
Conversation skills are the verbal and nonverbal behaviors that let two or more people exchange ideas in turns: opening, building on and closing a shared topic while each partner checks that the other is following.
ASHA’s Practice Portal page on social communication disorder lists what engaging in conversation involves: initiating or entering a conversation, topic maintenance, turn-taking, responsivity and providing the right amount of information, plus repairing breakdowns, such as rephrasing when misunderstood. The examples, activities, checklist and goals in this guide are original, written to be adapted.
| Component skill | What it looks like | Classroom example |
|---|---|---|
| Initiating | Greeting, then opening a topic or joining one already going | “Hi, Ava. Did you finish the science model?” |
| Turn taking | Short turns, then passing the turn; waiting for a pause | Two or three sentences, then “What about you?” |
| Topic maintenance | Comments and questions that stay on the shared topic | Staying on the field trip instead of switching to a video game |
| Asking questions | Questions about the partner, including follow-ups | “Which part was your favorite?” |
| Repair | Rephrasing when not understood; asking for clarification | “I mean the bus, not the bike.” |
| Ending | Signaling the close instead of walking away | “I have to go to class. See you at lunch.” |
Nonverbal signals run through every component: ASHA’s public page on social communication names gestures and body language, how close to stand, facial expressions and eye contact among the rules for conversation.
Conversation Skills and Pragmatic Language
ASHA defines pragmatics as “communication that focuses on goal-consistent language use in social contexts.” It is one component of social communication, alongside social interaction, social cognition (understanding the mental and emotional states of self and others) and language processing. ASHA’s public page groups social communication skills in three areas:
- Using language for different reasons: greeting, informing, demanding, promising, requesting.
- Changing language for the listener or situation: giving more background to someone new to the topic, speaking differently in public than at home.
- Following rules for conversations and storytelling: taking turns, introducing the topic, staying on it, trying another way when not understood.
Conversation skills are the third area, but they depend on the other two.
Culture and Conversation Norms
ASHA notes that eye contact, facial expressions and body language are influenced by sociocultural and individual factors, that “there is no universal norm for appropriate social behaviors that exists across all cultures,” and that “differences in social communication norms are not disorders.” Every culture, and even every family, can have its own rules. Teams should learn a family’s norms before choosing targets, and avoid goals that only ask a student to look typical.
Conversation Skills by Age
The CDC’s Learn the Signs. Act Early. milestones cover early childhood; ASHA’s social communication benchmarks continue into adolescence. Both are paraphrased below.
| Age | Typical conversation skills | Source |
|---|---|---|
| 18 to 36 months | Verbal turn-taking with a few turns, simple topic control, then short dialogues and introducing or changing a topic | ASHA |
| 3 years | Conversation with at least two back-and-forth exchanges; asks who, what, where or why questions | CDC |
| 3 to 4 years | Longer dialogues, anticipates the next turn, ends conversations, repairs when not understood, uses simpler language with very young children | ASHA |
| 5 years | Keeps a conversation going for more than three back-and-forth exchanges; tells a story with at least two events | CDC |
| 6 to 12 years | Better topic maintenance, repair and number of turns; extends topics; can think about conversational rules; persuades and gives opinions | ASHA |
| Older adolescence | Moves flexibly and fluidly between registers | ASHA |
ASHA adds that cultural and linguistic factors, linguistic diversity and neurodiversity can affect how these benchmarks apply, and the CDC states that its milestones do not replace developmental screening. In school, present levels decide the target.
How to Teach Conversation Skills
ASHA notes that in school settings, intervention often includes environmental arrangements, teacher-mediated and peer-mediated interventions, and that group sessions alongside one-on-one services help skills generalize. The 2020 NCAEP review of research with autistic learners lists these practices with communication outcomes:
| Practice (NCAEP 2020) | What it is | Communication outcomes, ages |
|---|---|---|
| Social skills training | Group or individual instruction, usually direct instruction, role-play or practice, and feedback | 0 to 18 |
| Modeling | A demonstration that leads the learner to use the behavior | 0 to 22 |
| Video modeling | A recorded demonstration shown to the learner, who then has a chance to perform it | 0 to 18 |
| Peer-based instruction and intervention | Trained peers deliver social initiations, or adults arrange and coach peer interaction | 3 to 18 |
| Visual supports, including scripts | Concrete cues that support a skill | 3 to 14 |
The evidence is not limited to autism. A 2022 systematic review of pragmatic interventions for children with developmental language disorder found them feasible in individual, small-group and large-group formats, and stressed explicitly teaching pragmatic skills (Jensen de López et al., 2022).
Explicit Instruction and Role-Play
ASHA describes social skills groups as instruction, role play and feedback, with two to eight students and a teacher or adult facilitator. Teach one component per lesson: name it, break it into steps, show a correct and an incorrect example, rehearse with feedback and plan where it will be used. The full lesson format is in social skills activities by age.
Video Modeling
A 2025 systematic review of 17 single-case studies with 47 autistic children found positive outcomes for video-based instruction, combined with other components, on conversational skills, while noting open questions about intensity and cultural contexts (Mohanan et al., 2025). Short clips of peers opening, repairing or closing a conversation can serve as models; record students only with district-approved consent.
Scripts and Script Fading
ASHA describes social scripts as a prompting strategy to teach varied language during social interactions, with visual or verbal scripted prompts “gradually faded as children use them more spontaneously.” A card with “Hi, what did you do this weekend?” helps a student start; the same card, still in use months later, has become a crutch.
Peer-Mediated Practice
NCAEP distinguishes peer-mediated interventions, in which trained peers deliver initiations, from adult-mediated ones, in which an adult arranges and coaches the interaction. Both turn lunch, recess, clubs and group work into practice settings, which matters because ASHA recommends providing intervention in naturalistic environments to the extent possible.
Conversation Skills Training for Teens
NCAEP lists PEERS®, the manualized program used in the school-based study above, as meeting its evidence criteria; students in that study also reported more get-togethers with friends. ASHA notes that expectations change from high school to postsecondary classes and the workplace, so secondary goals should include work and community conversations.
Conversation Skills Activities by Grade Band
Grades K to 2
| Activity | Skill | How it runs |
|---|---|---|
| Show-and-ask circle | Asking questions | A student shows an object; two classmates each ask one question about it |
| Puppet mix-up | Repair | A puppet “mishears” the student, who rephrases until the puppet understands |
| Snack-time two turns | Turn taking | A photo prompt starts a chat; each child takes two turns before the next card |
Grades 3 to 5
| Activity | Skill | How it runs |
|---|---|---|
| Follow-up chain | Follow-up questions | Partners must ask one follow-up question before either can change the topic |
| Bridge cards | Changing topics smoothly | Students practice linking phrases (“That reminds me of”) to move to a new topic |
| New-player rules | Adjusting to the listener | A student explains a game to a peer who has never played it, then to one who has |
Grades 6 to 8
| Activity | Skill | How it runs |
|---|---|---|
| Role-play replay | Balanced turns | Students record a role-play, watch it and count each speaker’s turns |
| Class interview | Questions and follow-ups | Pairs interview each other for a class profile and must ask two follow-ups |
| Exit lines | Ending a conversation | Students practice three closings, then use one before leaving lunch |
Grades 9 to 12
| Activity | Skill | How it runs |
|---|---|---|
| Workplace small talk | Initiating and ending with an adult | Rehearse a short chat with a supervisor, then use it at a school job site |
| Seminar roles | Building on others’ ideas | In a class discussion, the student adds one comment that names a peer’s point |
| Phone call practice | Repair without visual cues | Students call a staff member to ask about an event and handle a misunderstanding |
Conversation Skills Checklist
Use this checklist to observe pragmatic language in real settings, with at least two partners. Rate each item Yes, Emerging or Not yet, and note the partner and setting. It supports present levels; it is not a diagnostic tool, and assessment is the SLP’s role. See our guide to pragmatic language assessment for the tests and observation methods an SLP uses.
| The student | Rating | Partner and setting |
|---|---|---|
| Greets or answers a greeting | ||
| Starts a conversation or joins one in progress | ||
| Keeps turns short and passes the turn | ||
| Stays on the partner’s topic for several turns | ||
| Asks questions about the partner | ||
| Gives enough, but not too much, information | ||
| Rephrases when not understood | ||
| Asks for clarification when confused | ||
| Changes topic with a link or a signal | ||
| Notices signs of the partner’s interest or boredom | ||
| Ends the conversation with a closing |
Conversation Skills IEP Goal Examples
Set criteria from the student’s baseline, name the partner and setting, and open with the timeline (“By [date of the next annual IEP review],”). Goals for topic maintenance, clarifying questions and adjusting to the listener are in speech IEP goals; goals for joining peers and reading social cues are in social emotional IEP goals.
- Initiating with peers: During lunch or free time, [Student] will start a conversation with a peer using a greeting and an opening question or comment at least 3 times a week for 4 consecutive weeks, as measured by staff observation logs.
- Repair: When a listener shows they did not understand, [Student] will rephrase or add information in 4 of 5 opportunities with 2 different partners, as measured by event recording.
- Balanced turns: During 5-minute conversations with a peer, [Student] will keep turns to 3 sentences or fewer and pass the turn with a question or comment in 80% of turns across 3 sessions, as measured by conversation samples.
- Ending: [Student] will use a closing, such as “I have to go, see you later,” before leaving a conversation in 4 of 5 observed conversations, as measured by a teacher checklist.
How to Measure Conversation Skills
The IEP must describe how progress will be measured (34 CFR 300.320(a)(3)). Kentucky Department of Education guidance on types of data describes event recording as frequency, percent or rate, which fits most conversation goals:
- Counts or rates: initiations per lunch period, follow-up questions per conversation.
- Percent of opportunities: repairs when not understood, closings before leaving.
- Conversation samples: a 5-minute recorded or observed exchange, coded for turns, topic and repair.
- Generalization probes: the same measure with a new partner or setting each month.
Templates are in IEP data collection sheets.
Funding and Staffing
Speech-language pathology services are a related service under IDEA (34 CFR 300.34(c)(15)), and count as special education where state standards say so (34 CFR 300.39(a)(2)(i)). SLP time is the constraint: the ASHA 2026 Schools Survey reports a median caseload of 50 students per full-time school-based SLP. ASHA’s school-based service delivery guidance notes that routine tasks may be performed by SLP assistants or paraprofessionals under the SLP’s supervision, which is how daily conversation practice can reach lunch and class.
Common Mistakes District Leaders Make
- Teaching rules without practice. A worksheet on turn taking is not a conversation.
- Practicing only with adults. Peers talk differently, and they are the partners who matter.
- Scripts that never fade. ASHA describes script prompts as gradually faded.
- Targeting eye contact instead of the skill behind it, such as responding on topic.
- Judging by one culture’s norms. Differences in norms are not disorders.
- Measuring only in the speech room, where the partner is always the SLP.
- Ignoring the listener’s side: questions, responsivity and noticing a partner’s interest.
Recommended Actions
- Adopt one conversation checklist shared by SLPs, special education teachers and counselors.
- Schedule peer practice at lunch, in clubs and in advisory, not only in pull-out groups.
- Train peers and paraprofessionals with the free AFIRM modules on social skills training and peer-based intervention.
- Build a small library of video models, recorded under district consent procedures.
- Write goals that name the partner and setting, and probe a new partner each month.
- Ask families about conversation norms at home before setting targets.
Questions District Leaders Should Ask
- How many real conversations with peers does a student with conversation goals have each week?
- What share of conversation goals is measured outside the speech room?
- Which evidence-based practice is named for each social communication group?
- Who trains and supports peer partners in middle and high school?
Frequently Asked Questions
What are conversation skills?
Conversation skills are the abilities used to start, keep up and end a conversation: greeting, opening a topic, taking turns as speaker and listener, staying on topic, asking and answering questions, rephrasing when not understood and closing politely. ASHA lists them among the rules for conversation that make up social communication, along with nonverbal signals such as gestures, facial expressions and personal space.
How to teach conversation skills to students?
Teach one skill at a time: name it, show it with a live or video model, rehearse it in role-play with feedback, then practice with peers in real settings while prompts fade. Scripts help some students start, as long as they fade. NCAEP lists social skills training, modeling, video modeling and peer-based instruction among evidence-based practices with communication outcomes for autistic learners.
What are pragmatic language skills?
Pragmatic language skills are the abilities to use language appropriately in social situations. ASHA defines pragmatics as communication focused on goal-consistent language use in social contexts, and its public page on social communication groups the related skills in three areas: using language for different reasons, changing language for the listener or situation, and following rules for conversation and storytelling. The rules differ across cultures and families.
Is pragmatics the same as social skills?
Not quite. Pragmatics is the language side: how a student uses words, tone and gestures to communicate in context. Social skills are broader; NCAEP describes social skills training as teaching ways to participate successfully in interactions with others, which can target communication, play or social skills. ASHA treats pragmatics as one component of social communication. Many school goals, such as joining a conversation, involve both.
Can communication skills be taught?
Yes. In a school-based study, autistic middle school students taught a social skills curriculum daily by teachers and aides for 14 weeks improved in teacher-reported social communication, and a 2025 review of 17 studies found positive effects of video-based instruction on autistic children’s conversational skills. A 2022 review found pragmatic interventions feasible for children with developmental language disorder in individual and group formats.
Can AI help teachers prepare conversation skills lessons?
AI tools can draft role-play scenarios, topic cards or a short script for a teacher to check and adapt. They work best for preparation, not as a student’s only conversation partner, since the skills have to carry over to peers. Never enter a student’s name or records, and use only tools your district has approved; the ChatGPT for teachers guide explains safe prompting.
Related Resources
- Social Skills Activities by Age
- Articulation Activities
- Speech IEP Goals
- Social Emotional IEP Goals
- IEP Goals for Autism
- IEP Data Collection Sheets
Conclusion
Conversation skills can be named, taught and counted: starting, taking turns, staying on topic, asking, repairing and ending. Students learn them through explicit instruction, models and role-play, but they keep them only through many real conversations with peers, in settings where the skills are needed, judged by norms that respect the student’s culture.
Sources: ASHA Practice Portal, Social Communication Disorder; ASHA, Social Communication Benchmarks; ASHA, Social Communication; Steinbrenner et al., Evidence-Based Practices for Children, Youth, and Young Adults with Autism, NCAEP (2020); Laugeson et al., The ABC’s of Teaching Social Skills to Adolescents with Autism Spectrum Disorder in the Classroom: The UCLA PEERS® Program (2014); Mohanan et al., Effectiveness of Video-Based Instruction With Additional Components to Improve Conversational Skills in Autistic Children: A Systematic Review (2025); Jensen de López et al., Efficacy, Model of Delivery, Intensity and Targets of Pragmatic Interventions for Children with Developmental Language Disorder: A Systematic Review (2022); CDC, Learn the Signs. Act Early. Developmental Milestones; U.S. Department of Education, OSEP, 2024-25 Static Tables (Part B Child Count & Educational Environments); ASHA, 2026 Schools Survey: SLP Caseload and Workload Characteristics Report; ASHA, School-Based Service Delivery in Speech-Language Pathology. Sections of 34 CFR Part 300 are linked where they are cited.
Join the 2027 Special Education Pilot
Conversation skills grow through many short exchanges, more than a weekly SLP session and a lunch group can provide. Telo AI is being adapted for students with IEPs: patient, 1-on-1 practice aligned to each student’s IEP goals, including speaking practice and social-emotional learning, with teachers setting the goals, topics and rules. We are inviting districts to shape it with us in a 2027 pilot.
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